Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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