oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
