you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
