I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
