Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
