Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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