She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
