Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So many bounce houses so little time
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
