"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
