I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
