Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
