i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need water and some morals
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
