his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
