thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he puts the penis in happiness.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
