porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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