weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I skipped work to stalk him.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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