What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
