I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
