he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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