I bet he comes in French.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
