Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Houston, we have a squirter
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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