Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
