Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
