Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
