so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
third nipple confirmed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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