We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You ate ashes out of my bong
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
