i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
