I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
