Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
