a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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