it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
