I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
