He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
