I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
