in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
