I'll bet she douches with gravy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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