margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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