I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
