FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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