Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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