yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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