I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
