I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
