I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Randomize
