it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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