We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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