There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
