I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
