I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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