he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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